Unbreaking My Heart

“Eye on the prize,” she reiterated as I was in the middle of yet another rant about my soon-to-be ex-husband, who had been dragging out the divorce he wanted. She pointed at me with one finger, eyes narrowed, “As your consigliere (that’s Italian for advisor, by the way), I must tell you this issue is not worth your emotional energy. Stay focused, you’re almost there.”

Through it all, she has been my fiercest advocate, my compass, and a brutally honest friend. She held me while I cried, coming to terms with the end of my marriage and the fact that I would have to move out of the home I loved and split my time with my children with a man, who in my view, had not been pulling his weight as a father. She helped me chart my way forward, finding me a therapist who took my insurance and had office hours at lunchtime. She took off work to come with me to meet my lawyer, diligently taking notes and asking the questions I was too upset to remember. She deliberated with me on whether I should rent or buy my new home over charts and budgets she created herself, while assuring me that my son and daughter would be fine sharing a bedroom.

Now, she stands by me as I find my new normal in a life that has been turned inside out. She checks in when I’m without my children, heartbroken; she cheers me on as I explore dating and sex as an adult; and she talks me through options as I contemplate new careers as a single mother, reminding me of my worth when I only feel rejection.

Even with a heart shattered, she has shown me true love. How can I repay her? I'm not sure it's possible in this lifetime.

By Krystin Borgognone Vermillion